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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26571814">a furbidden affur</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/catShogun/pseuds/catShogun'>catShogun</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/F</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 11:02:07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>997</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26571814</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/catShogun/pseuds/catShogun</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>uhhhhhhh gay cats am i right awooga</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Minerva McGonagall/Mrs Norris</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>a furbidden affur</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It was a nice and cool and in fact dare I say it even the chilly night at the Hogwarts. The Gryffindor tower was stuffy and cringe: you could hear the bitches bitching downstairs. Professor McGonagall was sitting in her office repeatedly muttering,<br/>
“Yo Gromit, this bread slaps.”<br/>
Professor McGonagall machine goes brr and is like uh big brain hot take, perhaps maybe i should consider going on a walk. And so she does. Professor McGonagall does a magic and goes full catgirl. She catily walks down the corridor like a cat, in a very cat-like way. BONK. she goes to horny jail-I mean walks right into the love of her life, Mrs. Norris.<br/>
“uwu” Mrs. Norris says shyly.<br/>
“owo I was just going on a walk dear” Professor McGonagall replies.<br/>
“can i come with you nya?”<br/>
“uh mm hmmmm perhaps”<br/>
“are you stressed dear? ^_^”<br/>
“yas my discord e-queen”<br/>
A young child by the name of Luna Lovegood just happens to trip over some fuckin cats at the moment.<br/>
“Oi! What the fuck!” Luna exclaims.<br/>
“Watch your language young lady” McGonagall replies.<br/>
“Oh no a furry!” Luna scuttles off.<br/>
From behind McGonagall catches a glimpse of Luna’s computer bag which has a semi-explicit MILF!pyro drawing sticking out of it. Professor McGonagall and Mrs. Norris begin their nightly walk around campus. McGonagall to clear her head, and Mrs Norris because she’s a simp. They take a stroll through the restricted section of the library and see some children definitely not studying up on death magic.Then while spitting up hairballs on Ravenclaw kids they run into the very extremely ultra-mysterious Crookshanks. Crookshanks is in the weird-ass bath in the boys’ bathroom smoking a fat blunt. Professor McGonagall objects,<br/>
“You can’t do that on school campus!” Crookshanks replies,<br/>
“cat noise”<br/>
Professor McGonagall shakes her head and gives Crookshanks a disapproving look. In response, Crookshanks vomits in the bath. Professor McGonagall and Noris start to lick the vomit. McGonagall bitches at Crookshanks,<br/>
“Wow, you fucking lazy whore, have you ever thought of pulling your own weight. Women these days!” By calling Crookshanks a WAMEN Crookshanks begins to transform, being instantly force femmed by the powerful magic of *the women*.<br/>
McGonagall and Norris leave the Hogwarts campus for some much needed fresh air, taking in the scents of leaves and not vomit. Mrs Norris decides that they should do a couple laps around the lake to take their “minds” off of things. On their third trip around they were discussing the fuckablity of different species of mushrooms, when they were interrupted by some merpeeps.<br/>
“nyello, are these cats edible” McGonagall hears a merthing whisper<br/>
“uh i think the fuck not” McGonagall replies and beats the shit out of the merpeople for no reason.<br/>
Professor McGonagall proceeds to cover them in “salt” so they seethe and cope to assert dominance on them: she is the only person allowed to vore her wife. Then they hear a rustle in the uhhhh woods,      yeah the woods. And uh big plot twist. It was a large turtle. In fact, the turtle was so big that it was a big turtle. Perhaps even with a city on it. Haha, JK . . . unless? McGonagall and Norris were shocked by this development: not only was there a turtle at Hogwarts, it was also big. In her shock, Professor McGonagall exclaimed,<br/>
“Nothing bad ever happens to the Kennedy’s!”<br/>
The turtle shoots her a confused look and proceeds to start eating “grass”. Then McGonagall noticed a thorn stuck in the turtle’s fin. Mrs Norris politely questioned,<br/>
“Would you like any help getting that thorn out?”<br/>
The turtle, being a turtle, did some turtle thing. Mrs Norris responded,<br/>
“Yo bitch, fucking respond when I ask you something. How rude.”<br/>
The turtle is startled by the sudden noise of her shouting and hops back into the lake. Unfortunately for these cat ladies they were in the splash radius and get drenched. Professor McGonagall complains,<br/>
“Bro now im fucking soaked. Pretty fucking cringe bro. ngl :(“ Norris looks away, embarrassed. McGonagall follows up,<br/>
“Yo bro, do you wanna go back inside and get dried off?” Norris straight up just ignores her and wanders right off into the forest.<br/>
McGonagall chases after her. Not in a gay way, she wore kitty socks. The trees were a dark green, a very spooky but also foresty color. The more she ran, the more fucking weird and crusty the ground became. McGonagall called out,<br/>
“Yo fucking nonce brain, what the hell man where the fuck are we?”<br/>
“Don’t call your wife nonce brain bitch!” Mrs Norris replied.<br/>
“We are lost in the forbidden forest as cats!”<br/>
“And?”<br/>
“AND???”<br/>
“Yeah, what about it?”<br/>
“That’s dangerous as fuck and you’re a nonce brain for putting us in this situation.”<br/>
“Fuck you, I do what I want. It’s not my fault you followed me here.”<br/>
“And what let you get vored by some swamp-looking ass creature? No chance!”<br/>
Mrs Norris grumbled and continued walking into the forest towards an unusually large oak tree with black bark. For some spooky magic reason the tree had no leaves even though it was that middle of spring. Professor McGonagall awoogaed,<br/>
“That tree do be looking kinda spooky tho. Just a joke m’lady I’d never cheat on you.”<br/>
“Wow, you think trees are hot. Whore.” Mrs Norris responded. The tree glowed red because it needs to have evil magic and suddenly a small bitch burst out of its trunk. The bitch exclaimed,<br/>
“Boomer Alert. Since y’all are boomers, I must ask you these questions three.” McGonagall answered,<br/>
“no I don’t” then walked right past the bitch. The bitch shanked her arm.<br/>
“Yow that fucking hurt bitch!” McGonagall exclaimed. Mrs Norris tore right into the bitch with her teeth.<br/>
“no you can’t just bite me I’m dark evil people magic nooooooooo” the bitch shouted. Mrs Norris mauled the bitch right then and there to assert her dominance, only she can harass her wifey.<br/>
~The End~</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>seethe and cope losers</p></blockquote></div></div>
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